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Although Straight Talkin’ John McCain has to be considered the real winner of any Republican primary, winner 1A has to be Rudy Giulani, who has them right where he wants them. Why, he almost beat the dynamic campaign of Fred Thompson! (Although still a little behind a crank racist publishing mogul who places considerable emphasis on bringing back the gold standard.) Here were the final results among potential saviors of the Republican Party:

Amanda Hugandkiss 6%
Strom Thurmond’s decomposing corpse 5%
Frederick of Hollywood 4%
Oliver Clothesoff 3.5 %
Bea O’Problem 3.2%
America’s Mayor (TM), RudyNine GiulianiEleven 2.8%
Uncommitted 2.7%
Ted Nugent 2.4%

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