Dear Mr. Perlozzo
By Would you please stop with the bunting runners from second to third? Against Jaret Wright? You’re playing the Yankees, man. It’s a war and you’re stabbing the forces of civilization and decency in the back. As one of your rather more successful predecessors once urbanely noted, “you’ve only got 27 outs in the game.” And, “why don’t you take the sacrifice bunt and shove it up someone’s ass and leave it there.” There’s a lot of wisdom in these maxims.
Love,
Scott
Dear Mr. Angelos,
Have you ever notice that your team really went in the tank when you fired one of the best managers in the game and starting bringing in an ungodly parade of second- and third-raters instead? I mean, I know with the collection of stiffs you prefer to haul in it may not be the biggest deal, but actually hiring a competent, experienced manager can’t hurt. Look at the Tigers this year. Or remember when the Twins suddenly went from being puzzling underachievers to two-time World Champions with basically the same talent base when they fired the ludicrously inept Ray Miller? Oh, wait, you hired Ray Miller. Well, anyway, you may wish to consider it for a change.
Love,
Scott