If You Just Stuck To What You’re Best At, All These Problems Would Go Away

Shorter Peter Morris: “They lied to me about marriage and fatherhood! Who knew that childbirth was painful (and, really, more painful for the guy–sure, the woman is in red-faced agony, but I had to look at it!)? That your child could be an…ew….girl? That raising children required a significant amount of time and emotional commitment? That intense sexual ardor may fade in a long-term relationship? That sexual intercourse can lead to pregnancies, even if you’re trying the “having an affair approach”? Why did they keep it a secret? Being a father is so unfair.”

Please tell me that this is a joke. If not, paging Belle Waring. Belle Waring to the mythical waiting room where men pace around and hand out cigars and have nothing further to do with their children other than the occasional game of catch please.