Eymania

My reaction to some eastern Washington legislators calling for secession? Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I’d offer cab fare, but your roads are going to disintegrate so fast once Seattle stops paying the bills that it wouldn’t do any good.

I’m kind of curious about how these people think. Do they really, on the one hand, believe that Seattle needs Eastern Washington and would be sad to see it go? Do they really have so little grasp of fiscal reality that they think eastern Washington (or eastern Oregon, for that matter) could survive economically at anywhere near its current level? Or, on the other hand, do they simply think that they’re constituents are dumb enough to believe these things? My wager is that it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.

Doesn’t matter. Take them up on the offer. Take them up so fucking fast that it’ll make their heads spin. The downside, of course, is that it would result in two more Republican senators, which is not a good thing. However, it would come close to guaranteeing Democratic dominance in western Washington, where, you know, the people live. My favorite option would be to cut both Oregon and Washington in half, call the west half (now having Seattle, Tacoma, Olympia, Vancouver, Portland, Salem, and Eugene) Cascadia, and the other half (with metropolitan areas like Spokane and Pendleton) Idaho II: Revenge of the Rednecks.

Never happen, but we can dream.